no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
