Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
