she was so not down for the gang bang
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
