Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
