We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
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Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
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he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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