Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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