i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
