I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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