It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
