like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize