Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
this just has baby written all over it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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