Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
