I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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