I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
operation harelip BJ is a go
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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