sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
