I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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