You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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