Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
