i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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