just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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