He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
