Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
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I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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