I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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