Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
