Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
