Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
