i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize