i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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