I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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