your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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