saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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