did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
