I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
