And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
