Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wish I only lived at night.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight