Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.