guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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