she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
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Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
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When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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