why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
