You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
