i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize