I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
