Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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