I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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