Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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