Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
