It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize