I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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