I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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