actually, I'm a sock model
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
