Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Randomize
