After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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