Screwed.edu
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
