i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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