Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
operation harelip BJ is a go
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
