the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just gift wrapped bread.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
