Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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