DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
