Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
